The Things We Don’t Talk About: Podcast Episode 6
Jeffrey Wade Gibbs on fatherhood, memory, finding a home & looking back at home
In this episode of Finding Home Elsewhere—the podcast where we untangle the emotional, cultural, and logistical knots of building a life abroad—we dig into the quiet truths that sometimes only surface once you’ve left everything familiar behind.
What Distance Teaches Us
If you’re thinking about moving abroad, or already living somewhere new and wondering about your experiences or even what it’s doing to your sense of self, this conversation offers something deeper than the usual expat talk.
My guest, Jeffrey Wade Gibbs, who currently lives with his family in Istanbul after earlier chapters in Japan and Boston. What unfolds isn’t a checklist of places or travel tips—it’s a layered, honest look at what it means to reckon with home, family, masculinity, and memory from a distance.
The episode runs long—but I’d well worth lingering over. I also gave this one a long written intro because some folks seem to enjoy that…
Jeffrey and I talk about writing, identity, grief, and what it means to feel both grounded and restless at the same time. In his reflections, you might hear echoes of your own journey, or at least questions you're starting to ask.
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About the episode
I’m joined by writer and educator Jeffrey Wade Gibbs, who’s been living in Istanbul for 17 years—and yet still says, “I still have itchy feet.” That sense of restlessness runs through the talk, raising questions about staying put when your instinct is to move.
We go deep in this one—into the quiet aftermath of loss, legacies we inherit, and how place and perspective shape the stories we learn to tell. It’s a conversation about family, about memory, and what it means to find yourself and to find your people—not just in a country, but in a way of thinking.
About the guest
Jeffrey Wade Gibbs is a Southern-born writer and educator who’s called Istanbul home for nearly 20 years. His path—Florida to Japan to Boston to Turkey—was shaped by curiosity, and eventually, choice.
Now a memoirist, Jeffrey says life abroad gave him the language—and courage—to confront what he left behind. His new book, I Like to Remember Nice Things, explores his father’s suicide and the inherited silences of the American South.
a view from a distance
Jeffrey’s reflections on masculinity, race, and belonging are especially powerful because they’re shaped by years lived far from where his story began. Living abroad has made parts of his past newly visible—even understandable.
This episode moves between past and present, silence and voice, home and away—and reminds us that sometimes, the farther we go, the closer we get to what still matters.
New to Finding Home Elsewhere?
This podcast is about the weird, funny, and often disorienting experience of moving abroad—and what it really takes to build a life somewhere new. I talk with writers, teachers, musicians, parents, wanderers, and folks who never quite felt at home where they started. All stories, in their own words.
It’s thoughtful. Sometimes funny. Always interesting.
Get more podcasts and stories of adapting to life in a new country, 3x a week.
Read on for some highlights to look forward to in this episode.
highlights:
This episode moves from rural Florida to Tokyo to Boston to Istanbul, tracing how geography shapes identity, memory, and our stories.
Jeffrey has been in Turkey for 17 years, but as he puts it, “I still have itchy feet.” That restlessness runs through the conversation, even though he sounded incredibly stable as he described his life there.
He recalls his time in Japan, saying, “I never really came back from overseas.” It’s a moment that shows how deeply a place can reshape your sense of belonging
We talk about the weight of silence and the quiet codes of the American South—what I called a “suburbia of the mind,” where unspoken rules shaped friendship and vulnerability. In contrast, his early experiences in Japan offered him a culture where sound friendships came easily and lasted.
Now a writer and teacher, Jeffrey says, “I write like I’m restoring antique instruments.” For him, teaching writing isn’t about grammar - it’s about self-respect, clarity, and finding language for what’s hard to say in a fast, noisy world.
Toward the end, we talk about violence—visible and hidden—and how it lingers across generations. “The violence that surrounds you gets inside you,” he says, reflecting on how the stories of the American South and of Turkey mirror each other in unexpected ways.
This episode is about movement and memory, about places that shape us and stories we carry. More than anything, it’s about how distance brings certain truths into focus.
A Quick Favor
If you liked this episode, subscribe or pass it along to someone curious about life elsewhere. It helps a lot—and gives me a solid reason to keep having conversations like this one with Jeff instead of just yelling into the void.
I also write about culture, food, and the weird moments that come with life abroad. If you're into slow mornings, old maps, seasonal food, music (new and old), and the occasional historical rabbit hole, there's more where this came from.
More stories from real people living in new places!
Some of the things referenced in this podcast:
Jeffrey’s Substack - select, high-quality writing. Great to spend time there.
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