The French bureaucratic death loop

The French Bureaucratic Death Loop

This is how I’ve described what happens when you get a caught up in the circles of bureaucracy in France. There sometimes seems like there is no way to resolve it, but to be patient, call someone very politely and ask about the process – and then wait. French bureaucracy is infamous, but the French themselves suffering with it as well. While this can seem impenetrable to a foreigner, it’s a source of constant complaint for the locals as well.

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For example, when I wanted to get cell service beyond my travel plan, the cell phone company requires a French bank account while the French bank account prefers that you have a local or French cell phone number to set it up.

Set up a meeting with someone at the phone service to resolve this. There seems to be no other way – and there is then a lot of paperwork with that, forms to sign, and then you are sent home with a big folder of papers.

The apartment rental process was as complicated as buying a home in the US. The rental agreement is simply massive.

As a general rule, French banks limit their dealings with Americans, but they will set up accounts. All of this must be done in person and yes, there is a lot of paper involved. This is nothing against Americans except for the fact that the United States IRS has a reporting obligation for American citizens globally that’s just a lot more paperwork that is really worth it for a lot of French banks. So, they don’t want to be bothered with it.

That said, once you can get a bank account set up, a lot of things open up for you.

Although I get frustrated, there is a logic to it, and it is generally best not to make comparisons between countries. They have their systems and won’t be changing them juts because I have a problem with it. There are a lot of French folks in line ahead of me.

Some suggestions:

1. Follow EVERY single documentation requirement: provide all documents exactly as requested, including any additional, unlisted documentation that might be necessary. This is crucial for the successful processing of your application.

I am certain that one of my forms was ignored because it included a paper clip, which they said expressly on the envelope to not include. Oops.

2. Keep Comprehensive Records: Keep digital and physical copies of every document associated with anything bureaucratic. Organizing these records helps, which I haven’t really done – but I am still impressed by how frequently I have to go looking for a piece of paper that some agency mailed to me.

The Carte Vitale, or health insurance card, was 6-step process that took me the better part of six months. It required my long stay visa, all of the forms that they had sent me and copies of every page of my passport being sent along with a passport photo. Twice. I am pretty sure that the two different departments are next to each other on the same floor of the same building downtown. After the second time, I called someone, and they sent out another form. I filled that out with a third passport photo and then the card was mailed to me within a week.

3. Organize digital files & use a password manager: I just use dropbox or my google drive account and the password manager on my laptop. Without it, I’d be going crazy having to make up new, unique and previously unused passwords for everything.

4. Communicate Effectively and Persistently: Getting someone on the phone is always faster. In fact, it seems to be the only way to move certain things forward at all.

Sending an email doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll get back to you. Some things, like limited access to your information after you reset a password, for example, are set to resolve themselves after a time. And so, a lot of the bureaucrats involved don’t even respond to them. 

5. Embrace a bit of luck in the process: Each individual's experience with it may be really different. I have my Carte Vitale (health insurance card) already and my wife does not. We mailed them out on the same day.

Lastly, there is a lot of help in English available but not for everything. What is available is biased heavily toward UK expats. Even after Brexit and all of those complications, it remains easier moving from the UK to France than doing it as a US citizen. All of our systems seem to be isolated from the world to a degree.

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